A Passion Redeemed

Hey. I really need to get back into my blog, but maybe not post so much. I just want to say I can't wait to until a Passion Redeemed comes out. It's the second book in the Daughter's of Boston series. The first book was A Passion Redeemed. I know you can fell the steaminess from the title. I just have to know what happens with between Charity and Mitch. Any guesses. Once I can get the book I will and then I'll get a review up.

What happen

My blog is all messed up because last week I had a bad week, that made feel like crap and want nothing to do with nothing including the child that God blessed me with. So I'm going to try and get things going again.

mess with the pact

This whole mess about the pregnancy pact sure has some people in an
uproar. Something I keep seeing is that people are blaming the
schools. Saying, they should have taught the girls better. They should
have taught them about sex and birth control and what not.
Perhaps, others will feel differently, but I think schools should
teach math, science, English and plain all academics. It's my job as a
parent to teach morals, why teenagers shouldn't have Babies, what sex
is and birth control. I mean really my job doesn't end at birth. I
know schools teach this because a lot of parents fail at these
important life lessons.

Never fear you won't lose the ads

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Now, I have joined the club to have spread the word about many cool products, so check them out.


blog marketing

Where have I been

I'm a live. Just tired. Motherhood sucks sometimes.
Right now, I need to clean my bathtub because it's full of Michelle poop. Here that teenagers want a baby right now. MY BATHTUB IS FULL OF POOP BECAUSE OF MY BLESSING FROM GOD. Did i mentioned i'm dirty, sweatily, aggravated. Oh and My husband is out of town, so it's just me and the blessing. Today is a I want my tubes tied day. I think I'll just impose myself on my friends all week. Perhaps go there for a so called playdate, and slip out the back door conveniently forgetting my child.
My child likes to suck on my skin. I know, gross. Well, every time i feel those wet little lips on my skin, i immediately get tensed, thinking of the scabs I have on my arm from the last time she bit me.

Coffee: a mother's drug of choice.

I’m writing this after getting bit by my daughter. By the way this isn’t just any bite. It’s a flesh breaking, bruise leaving, teeth imprinting bite. I was trying to cuddle her because she was fuzzy when pain ripped through my arm making me scream aloud as I could. I picked her up. Dropped her in the crib and went outside to calm down. Why, because as a good friend says, Mommy needed a time out. I had wanted to spank her so badly, to teach her not to bite, but instead I left.
Point of the story, parenting is insane. Why do we do this? Really if sex wasn’t so good how many of us would have more then one kid. You live in a fantasy world before you are pregnant and then they come into the world and you are like, “WHAT DID I GET INTO.”
So seriously, today’s rant as a question. Did God make sex good, to get us to keep reproducing because right now, I want to be sterilized? My arm freaking hurts.
So seriously, today’s rant as a question. Did God make sex good, to get us to keep reproducing because right now, I want to be sterilized? My arm freaking hurts.

Note, I wrote this yesterday. Today she woke up fuzzy so mommy turned on the ever faithful babysitter T.V.

Priviledge Chapter 2 p C

***

Katie sat in class, thinking of Keith. Her planned hadn’t work, but she didn’t care. She had felt sad when she told him, thinking he was going to end it. Heat filled her body when he promised he wouldn’t try anything. She giggled as thought of his warm breath hitting her face as he kissed her cheek.

“Hey, why haven’t you called me back?” Angel sat next to her.

Katie grew tense “I was busy. I spent the whole weekend with Keith.” She didn’t want to call Angel. She was beginning not to trust her even though she was her only friend. She didn’t know what to do about this situation.

“I thought you were only going to go out with him once.”

Katie shrugged. “I think he’s a nice guy.”

Angle’s face turned red and tears swelled in her eyes. “He’s not a nice guy. He sleeps with girls and dumps them.”

“I told him that I wanted to wait until I got married, and he said he was cool with that.”

Angel laughed and turned to the front; the tears were still present. Katie remembered Allen’s father calling Keith.

“Angel, Allen’s father called Keith and apologized. I don’t understand why he didn’t apologize to me.”

Angel raised her eyebrows. “You have no idea who you’re dating.”

“Who is he?”

“Allen’s father called him because he doesn’t want Keith’s father to be mad at him.”

“Why?”

“Keith’s father was the biggest contributor to the President’s campaign. The two are like this.” Angel held up two fingers, which were twisted together. “I once heard my father complain that the President wouldn’t make a decision without consulting Mr. Wilkerson.”

Katie’s mouth fell opened. She couldn’t believe what she had heard, although she had recently met so many people with political connections.

“I wonder why Keith didn’t tell me that.”

“I don’t know. But that is why so many girls fall for him. They’re all attracted to his connections.”

“And he likes me.”

“Katie, you’re stupid, if you think he likes you. He’s got his bride picked out. Her name is Ashley, and she lives in New York. He’s just messing with you.”

Tears swelled in Katie’s eyes and she tried to say something but the professor walked in. She couldn’t pay attention to the lecture, so she just wrote notes on her paper about what Angel had told her, trying to figure out who to believe.

As soon as class was over, Katie grabbed her books and ran out the door before Angel could say something. When she got to her room, she slammed her door shut and called Keith. He wasn’t there, but she left him a message, saying she really wanted to talk to him.

Katie lay on her bed for two hours, staring at the ceiling. Her history book was opened on the floor. She had a test tomorrow, but she couldn’t bring herself to study. Her phone rang. She flipped it open and saw it was Keith.

“Hey.”

“I’m downstairs.”

Katie hung up the phone, put her shoes on and was about to run downstairs when her phone rang again.

She answered it. “Why did you hang up?”

“I’m on my way downstairs.”

She closed the phone. She raced down the stairs and threw opened the door, fixing her eyes on his face

“Who’s Ashley?” she said through a breath.

Keith didn’t flinch. “Ashley Marriotti?”

“Who is she?”

“My ex. We broke up this summer.” Keith didn’t turn his eyes up or even twitch; he just stared straight at her. “I found out she had girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Katie looked at the ground. He answered too quickly to be lying nor did he look away.

“Who told you about Ashley?”

Katie hid her hands behind her back. “Angel told me that you were going to marry her.”

“I was. The only person I have talked to about this is Brandon, so Angel probably didn’t know we broke up.”

“I guess you were hurt.”

“Nah, I knew the breakup was coming, so I got over her real fast.”

She stared straight into his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me your father was close to the president?”

The corner of his mouth twitched and his eyes got dark. “I guess, Angel told you that too.”

“Yeah, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Girls have a habit of being with a guy just because of his connections. I wanted you to like me for me.”

Katie smiled and took his hands. “I’m glad I didn’t know. I like spending time with you.”

His eyes lightened. “Want to get some dinner?”

Katie remembered her history test tomorrow. She looked up at his face, and realized she could study later that night. “Sure.”

Keith took her to a nice restaurant. She told him all the reasons why she wanted to teach; he listened and kept nodding his head. She had a great time. When he dropped her off that night, he bent down again to kiss her, but once again Katie lowered her face, so he could only kiss her head. Keith pinched her chin and said he’d call her tomorrow.

***

Once in his car Keith picked up his phone and dialed Angel’s number. His free hand clinched the steering wheel.

“Hey, Keith,” Angel said.

“Listen whore, stop trying to screw things up for me.”

“Keith.” Angel cried out.

“Angle you were easy sex, and that’s all you’ll ever be.”

“You player,” Angel shouted.

“You’re the one that allowed it.”

Keith hung up the phone and drove to his apartment, taking slow deep breaths, but he couldn’t calm himself down. If she was here… he squeezed the wheel. He would never he realized as he dismissed the thought from his mind.

A Promise for Ellie

A Promise for Ellieby Lauraine Snelling does not carry the novel to end.
Ellie is a small town girl at the turn of the century just waiting to get married to her childhood sweet heart Andrew. But there is one problem. Andrew’s father asks him to postpone the wedding. And this is where things began to fall short. There is no lead up to this. Out of the blue, his father just says wait.
Andrew is furious, and this leads him to make some very bad decisions. The most exciting part of the novel happens at the end, but the only lasts a few pages and wraps up so quickly the reader never really gets to fully appreciate the building up of the story.
There’s little passion. Ellie hands burn and she gets hot when Andrew is near, but nothing to really interest the reader.
Theology is sound, but not really present.
I say get it from the library, but there was nothing that really made want to rush through the novel to the ending.

Stay-at-Home Mom Review Parenting Tip of the Week

This weeks tip is short because I’m tired, cranky and just want to go crash on the couch since my daughter is taking a nap. I love nap time.
I stole this tip from a friend. Use newspaper to clean glass. Just spray or pour your cleaning substance on the newspaper and use it to clean the glass for a streak free finish. This trick is pretty cool and I used it yesterday to clean my bathroom mirror while my sister-in-law distracted the peanut ask fuzzy, cranky teething little blessing from heaven. I need to keep reminding myself that children are a blessing from the Lord because sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs instead calmly trying to sooth her. Why, do they have to climb onto the top of the couch, dining room table and what not? Can’t they just stay safely on the ground?

Priviledge Chapter 2 p B

The next morning she awoke with a smile on her face. She looked at the ceiling and thought about how sweetly he had kissed her the cheek before leaving. She could quickly fall for this guy. His eyes were bewitching and his smile dangerous beautiful. She giggled. She had studied the gracefulness of his lips all night, feeling mesmerized. Her phone rang making her startled. She reached to the floor and picked up her phone.
“Hello.”
“I heard what happened. Are you ok?” she heard Angel say.
“Yeah, thanks to Keith.”
“What?”
Katie sat up. “Look what do you know?”
“Keith got jealous and punched Allen.”
“Allen drugged me, Angel, and Keith kept him from taking advantage of me. I know this because I tried to get away from Keith, but I passed out.”
It was silent for several seconds as Katie waited for a response, but one never came.
“Angel, Allen is a creep.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Well, maybe Keith isn’t that bad of a guy.”
“Maybe,” Angel’s voice dropped in tone.
“He’s taking me out to dinner tonight. Where do you think he’ll take me?”
“I don’t know. He never takes girls out, but I bet it will be somewhere nice. But listen, I would still be careful of Keith. He has hurt a lot of girls.”
Katie shook her head. The guy Angel talked about didn’t seem like the Keith she saw last night. “Did he take advantage of a lot of your friends or something?”
“Whatever, Katie, you can believe me or not. But maybe you should ask around.”
Katie felt a strain between the two of them. Angel was her friend, her only friend here and Keith really was an uncertainty, “Angel look, I’m just going to go out with him once to say thank you.”
“Okay. Have fun.”
After she said goodbye to Angel, she called Keith.
“Hey, pretty thing,” Keith said when he answered.
The sound of his smooth voice dazed Katie for a second. “Already put me in your phone?”
“Your number has been there since I got it from Angel.”
“What? Angel gave you my number!” Katie shook her head. Why would Angel do that? It didn’t make sense. Katie pressed hand down on her head. Could Angel be lying? Was she playing games because she was jealous of Keith’s attention towards her?
“Yeah, right after we first met. Does that bother you?”
“No,” she lied.
Katie talked to Keith for a couple minutes, but couldn’t focus on what he said. She kept thinking about how Angel betrayed her and she began to wonder if she could trust her.
***
Katie clinched the sides of her black cotton dress as she walked down the steps of her dorm. When she reached the bottom step, she saw Keith through the window — his back was towards the door, but she could tell he looked good in the black jacket and pants he wore.
A smile; just a little one, crossed her face. She tried to dismiss it, but it stayed as she opened the door and walked outside.
Keith turned and scanned her with his eyes, his face brightening. “Wow, you really are the prettiest girl.”
Katie could no longer keep her smile small; it widened as Keith took her hands and kissed her cheek.
“Thank you,” she said.
“No, thank you, for finally letting me treat you nice.”
Keith led her to his BMW and opened the door. She slipped in and looked out the window at people as the car pulled away. She felt like such a princess, but people didn’t stare at the fancy BMW. They were probably to use to the sights of such cars in this small town.
***
Katie let out a small gasp when they walked into the restaurant. Her eyes scanned the lace table clothes and oak red tables. Candles accented fine silverware that surrounded china plates with red flowers painted on them. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. She had never been to such a place. Two musicians played violins in a corner creating a calm and romantic atmosphere
The host dressed in a suit approached them and offered to show them to a table.
She wrapped her arms around her waist, realizing she had underdressed compared to the woman in their silk dresses.
Keith placed a hand on the small of her back and gave her a small nudge. She looked up at him and smiled. She hadn’t realized she had not followed the host. She let him guide her to the table and sat down after he pulled out a chair for her.
She was out of her world. She wondered how Keith could just walk into this restaurant and feel at ease.
He ordered a bottle of wine and then asked, “Are you nervous?”
She nodded and then picked up the menu. Her eyes widened when she saw the prices; her father could never afford such a restaurant.
The waiter returned and Keith ordered crab cakes.
“Katie,” he said.
She looked up. He was holding up his wine glass. She picked hers up, hoping he didn’t notice how the glass shook.
Keith touched her glass with his. “To beginnings.”
He took a sip of wine, but she just held hers.
“Are you not going to take a sip?” He asked.
“I don’t believe in drinking alcohol.”
“Why?” He looked confused.
“Because…” she thought about why her father and pastor had told her it was wrong to drink alcohol, but every reason she thought of he would probably find silly, so she just took a sip. She set the glass down, and swallowed. She hated the sharp taste and realized a good reason not to drink wine.
Keith smiled and picked up the menu. “I hear the lamb is really good.”
She looked at the menu. It was the second most expensive thing, next to the filet mignon, but she noticed the Chicken in Orange Sauce was the cheapest thing on the menu.
“I think I’ll have the Chicken in Orange Sauce.”
Keith lowered the menu. “Have you had it before?”
She shook her head.
“Neither have I, but my sister said it’s not good.”
Katie’s eyes widened. “You have a sister?”
“Yeah, she comes down a lot because she’s engaged to Brandon. You’ll meet her soon.”
“Well, I guess we have something in common.”
“Yeah,” he said as a smile crossed his face.
She looked back at the menu, and decided she would get the lamb. He got the filet mignon.
Katie didn’t speak much during the dinner, and mostly just to answer his long list of questions. He seemed interested in finding out who she was. She found out that Keith was in his last year of law school and she thought about how he was following in the footsteps of his father. She made sure to eat everything on her plate, just because the meal was so expensive, and she felt guilty for ordering it.
After dinner, Keith took her to the movies. As they watched the film, he kept his arm around her shoulders twisting a finger into one of her curls. She felt so warm and cherished in his arms. But her thoughts kept turning to the fact, that he wasn’t the type of guy she should date even if Angel was lying. There was no indication he was a Christian. This relationship could go no farther even if he made her feel so special.
When the night was over, Keith invited her back to his place, but she told him she was tired, so he took her back to the dorm.
As he walked her to the dorm, he turned her to face him, placing both hands on her hips. He bent down to kiss her lips, but she lowered her face, so he kissed her on the head. He leaned his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes.
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
She looked at the ground to avoid his blue eyes that were making her melt.
“I don’t know,” she said even though every inch of her screamed yes. “Why not?” He caressed her cheek.
Katie bit her lip. Her whole body trembled. She couldn’t tell him the real reason. He would think she was silly. “Because I have heard too many stories about you.”
“Oh,” he took a step back from her. She looked up. The lightness to his face had disappeared. “Who has told you stories?”
“Angel.”
“Angel, who told you Allen was a great guy?”
Katie nodded, and lost her breath when he took a step towards her and peered down into her eyes. Something about the shinning light blueness caught and held her still
“And Allen would have raped you, if I hadn’t stepped in?”
“But why would Angel lie to me?”
"I don’t know. How well do you know her?”
“Keith, it’s…”
“I think you’re confused on who to trust. I had you passed out in my car. I could have done anything I wanted to you at that moment, but I didn’t. Did I?”
“No.” She lowered her eyes to the ground. She would have to find a better reason to deter him.
She felt Keith touch her chin before lifting her eyes to his.
“I like you.”
“Want to study together?”
He smiled. “Sure.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She turned for the door.
“Sweet dreams.” She heard as she ducked behind the door.
***
When Katie got to her dorm room, she picked up her phone. She had three missed messages all from Angel wondering why she was out all night; and one reminded her to be careful of Keith. Katie didn’t call Angel, but lay on her bed trying to figure Keith out. She thought of how much she liked him, but her mother had always warned her about the dangers of dating non-Christians.
She tried to form her plan when her roommate walked in with her boyfriend.
They turned on the stereo real loud, ignoring the fact that she was there. Katie bit down real hard, trying to hold in the scream. She shook her head and grabbed a pair of pajamas, heading to the bathroom. How could someone be so rude? She pulled on the pajamas and then headed to the dorm den to watch some TV, but her mind turned to Jeff, and she wondered how he was doing at Campbell University. It was Jeff who had asked her to sign the Purity Pledge during a youth group meeting, and an idea came to her head. She should tell Keith her decision in order to see what he would say.

***
Keith sat on the floor in the living room of his apartment with his head lowered over a small glass plate, covered with cocaine. He brought the straw to his nose took a quick sniff and then lowered his head back against the couch. His black pants and socks blurred a little as the door opened and Brandon strolled in with a girl under each arm
“Hey,” Brandon said.
Keith nodded.
“Thought we’d have a party.” Brandon kissed the blonde and headed to his bedroom with her. The other girl, who had shoulder length brown hair and wore a tight black dress, walked over to Keith. The girl sat down, took the straw and began to snort.
Keith’s eyes lowered to her chest, and he looked as far down her dress as he could.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“You can call me Alley.”
“Alley? Is that not your real name?”
“Why should I tell you,” she said.
“Because…” He touched the edge of the fabric that rested against her chest.
“Did I say you could touch me?”
“You’re snorting my coke.” He tugged at the neckline but stopped when he felt his nose began to run. He stood up.
“What are you doing?” she said.
“Just a bloody nose, I can’t snort coke without getting one of these. It’ll be gone in a second.”
“Matthew Wilkerson’s son has a weakness.”
He laughed at her remark and walked to the bathroom. While he lowered his head over the sink, he tried to focus his mind on Alley’s legs, but he kept thinking of how pretty Katie looked in the black dress. He opened a drawer and pulled out a condom, clinching it in his hands. He waited until he felt his nose dry before he washed his face and returned to the girl.
Keith had sex with the girl on the floor, although for the first time; it was fast and he felt repulsed at her touch. Every time he opened his eyes and looked at the girl, he would instantly close them because he wanted to see Katie. When he was done, he left her on the floor without saying a word and went to his room, locking the door behind him.
***
Katie sat on the brick wall outside her dorm. Keith would be there any second. He had called wanting to study at his apartment, but she knew that wouldn’t be a good idea, so she suggested a picnic. She didn’t have to wait long before Keith. She shook her head as he got out of the car in a dark blue untucked dress shirt and kakis. Even today, for a study date, she felt underdressed in jeans and a tee. They came from two different worlds.
“Hey.” He held up the bag of sandwiches and two bottles of coke.
“You didn’t get those at Subway.”
“Nah, the Cornallia deli.”
She knew the place he was talking about; it was somewhere Angel had taken her once, and all she could afford was a plain ham sandwich and water.
Keith took her to a park in town. They sat on a blanket, and talked as Katie worked on a paper. Keith acted like he was concentrating on his international business law book however his eyes kept drifting to her. She tried to ignore him, but his constant looks made her not able to focus on her paper.
After an hour, Keith took the pencil out from behind his ear, put it in the book and closed it. He leaned back on his hands. “Break time.”
She chuckled. “We’ve only been working for an hour.”
“I study best in spurts.”
Katie closed her I-book.
“What do you want to do when you finish school?” Keith asked.
“I’m going to teach like my dad.”
Keith nodded. His question afforded her the perfect opportunity. “I have another goal, I want to keep.”
“What’s that?”
Katie brought her knees close to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.
“I want to be a virgin when I get married.”
She watched as his eyes grew bright and excited. “You’re a virgin.”
Katie looked out into the distance, slowly rocking back and forth.
“Why wait till marriage?” he asked.
“Because I only want to sleep with the one for me. And marriage is the only way to insure that.”
***
Keith sat up and crossed his legs Indian style. He looked at the ground, and contemplated what she said. He thought about why he kept inviting her to his apartment and wondered how long he could wait until he either wore her down or left her in rage. He looked at her light blue eyes and felt his body grow warm. He didn’t care, he realized. There was something about her that drew him.
“Well, you know what you need to do?”
“What’s that?”
“Only date guys who’ll respect your decision.”
“That is what I plan to do.” She picked up the laptop, determination in her eyes. He knew how to clinch her.
“Katie, I’d respect your decision.”
He thought that would bring a smile to her face, but she just looked at her laptop. “I mean it, Keith. I will dismiss you from my life if you try anything.”
“You don’t have to worry about me.” She knit her brows; he could tell she was thinking.
“How many people have you slept with?”
“Two,” he answered. He knew the question was coming. “And only girls I had serious relationships with.”
She looked up at him as if she was trying to figure out if he was telling the truth. He focused on keeping his eyes straight, just like how his father taught him. She smiled and he saw her body relax. He knew she believed him.
“Katie, I wouldn’t tell people you’re virgin.”
“Why? I’m not ashamed of it.”
"Yeah, but virgins are a rarity.” He bit down on the side of his lip. “You don’t want the wrong guys preying on you. I’ll have to keep punching people.”
A blush appeared on her cheeks. “Break time is over.” She opened her laptop and began working on her paper. He had won her.

rant for today

I think Wednesday is going to be random thoughts day. The idea of this blog was to make it like n literary review; therefore, I think it’s alright to throw in some mindless cha has been a long battle. For the sake of business, I’m going to keep my political views our of this blog; however, I hope, pray and beg God for a change. This country needs a change and whoever gets elected better try to make things better.
It seems like things in this country or slowing with ever increasing speed starting to crumble. Gas prices are obnoxious, food prices are fluctuating, mortgages defaults are rising and people can’t find work. This scares me.
I have a daughter and I wonder what is the world going to be like when she is my age. How will our choices today, affect her in the future?
How bad will the environment be and will she be suffering from an illness because this country doesn’t want commit to make things better. Hello, USA we are 5 percent of the population but make 50 percent of the waste.
Will she be able to find work, with her education or afford to stay home and raise her children?
I’m going to be very angry if in four years who ever is elected doesn’t do a thing to make things better. I’m so sick of hearing politicians say, I have your interest at heart. I feel your pain. Blah. I’m too jaded to believe that any candidate is going to actually do something.
I have spent so much time in prayer over this matter and I will continue in prayer for I don’t know what else to do. But please Barak, McCain do something to make this country better.
There are some things that people can do to take care of themselves. Start cutting back on expenses and saving. I know this is hard. It has been a battle for my husband and me. We don’t spend on extras just necessities. I’m experimenting with gardening and strongly considering stockpiling seeds. I’m learning to cook from scratch and saving food. Very little food in our home is wasted. We have learned to buy in bulk and divide food portions to last a while. I buy juice concentrates and milk in powder form.
We currently drive only one car and drive it when necessary. Places close at hand or walked to, or we don’t go to them.
We are also trying to pay off our bills as fast as we can.
These are just a few tips. A good book to read is the Tightwad Gazette. It has really helped my family.

Chapter 2 part B

***
The whole day Katie sat on her bed trying to type her history paper. It was around five when her phone rang, and she picked it up. She didn’t recognize the number. Fearing it might be Keith, she didn’t answer. When the phone stopped ringing, she checked the message. It wasn’t Keith; it was Allen asking her to dinner. She called right back and told him why she didn’t answer the phone. He laughed and asked if she wanted to get pizza. She agreed, so he picked her up, and took her to a nice restaurant, but not an expensive one. She had a nice time, and thought that Allen was a nice boy. She found out that his father was a CEO for an oil company, and she laughed when he said that unlike most of the young men out here, he had no political ambitions. He was getting a MBA, and was planning on working for his father after school even though he had dreams of joining the Peace Corps. Katie found herself lost in what he said, and at the end of the night he didn’t invite her back to his place, he just took her to her dorm, and asked if he could call her tomorrow. She agreed.
The next day she had to fight to keep her mind focused on her studies, but she was able to finish the paper, right before 7 p.m. when he called. They talked for two hours, and he invited her over to watch a movie with him, but she said she couldn’t, however she would meet him in a public place. He picked her up and took her to a bookstore. He wanted to get her a book, but she protested, and he didn’t insist. She found the bookstore very charming. It was just a small bookstore in a wooden building that almost looked like an old train station pick up center.
That whole week, she spent at least a couple hours with Allen after she got her studying done. Every time, he dropped her off after a date, he would try to kiss her, but she would lower her head, and he would back off.
On Friday, he asked if she wanted to go to a party. She really didn’t want to go, but she went because he wanted her to. Katie didn’t even think of Keith when she walked into the house where the party was. She looked around at the people there, by now the faces were becoming familiar, and a couple girls came up and talked to her; it was a much smaller party; there were only about 15 people there.
She felt exhausted from her week. She took Allen’s hand. “I’m going to sit down for a second,” she said.
Allen got a smirk on his face. She stared at him puzzled before she turned away. She sat on a couch and watched him until he came over.
He leaned over the arm of the couch. “Are you thirsty?”
Katie asked, “can I have a coke?”
As she watched Allen walk away from, she felt fingers slide across her cheek. She turned her head to the right and saw a form pass behind her. She turned her head to the left and saw Keith walking towards the cooler of beer. She started moving her foot back in forth; thinking he won’t give up. She watched as he walked up to a group of young men. She smiled when she saw Allen approach her, but he turned to the group of men, in fact he stood right next to Keith who said something to him.
***
Keith crossed his arms. He has heard this conversation every time he goes to a party. Everyone had an opinion on what Arthur should do in regards to Syria. He always kept his mouth shut and let them spout off, acting as he they actually knew what they were talking about, trying to impress him.
“Talking about your godfather again,” Allen said, stopping next to him.
“Yeah.” Keith looked over everyone’s head. Allen was worse then the rest. Always challenging him as if they were in competition. There was no competition as far as he was concerned.
Keith watched him drop a pill into a cup, and swish the liquid around, dissolving the pill. A smirk crossed Keith’s face. Allen always had to drug the girls to get laid. He could get away with it because Allen was almost as rich as himself.
Allen held up the cup to the group and said, “time to open the iron curtain.”
Keith laughed as Allen walked away. He was a such a fool who was going to get burned one of these days.
He let his mind drift to Katie and wondered if he should try talking to her again. She looked so pretty tonight. He remembered how silky her hair felt in his fingers “Hey Keith,” Brandon said interrupting his thoughts. He pointed behind him. Keith turned around and saw Allen sitting next to Katie with his hand in her hair. His body stiffened and he grew hot. He watched as she took a long sip of the coke. Keith glared at Allen, just buying his time, knowing full well what he was up to.
He waited until she had taken quite a few sips before he walked straight up to her and knocked the almost empty plastic cup out of her hand, sending it flying across the room and spilling the brown liquid on the floor.
The color left Katie’s face.
“What’s your problem?” Allen shouted.
Keith grabbed Katie’s arms and pulled her from the couch close to his body. He wrapped one arm tightly around her waist. “This one is off limits.”
Allen stood up. “Maybe to you.”
Keith let go of Katie and in one swift motion pounded Allen right across the chin, sending him to his knees, and letting all his anger release into Allen’s jaw. “Won’t you shut up and think of who you’re talking to.”
Katie placed her hands over her mouth as Keith grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the house.
***
The crisp chill air made Katie focus on the moment. She pulled her arm from his. “What is your problem?”
“Pour your own drinks at parties, Katie.”
“What?”
“He drugged you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I saw him do it.”
“I don’t believe you. You’re just jealous.”
“Katie.” His voice was calmer and he took her shoulders. “Let me take you to your dorm, and we’ll see if you make it awake.”
“I’m not getting alone in a car with you.” She turned from him and started to walk away. But she didn’t get far before she had to stop and place a hand on her forehead, and steady herself against a post of the house. She looked out and saw the dark forms of the trees in front of her blur in and out and mush together. Keith wasn’t lying.
“It’s already working,” he said.
She shook her head and took a couple steps, but she saw the ground coming towards her fast. She felt his hands grab her waist and pull her against himself. She then felt herself be lifted and she looked up at the stars until her eyes became too heavy to keep open.

Chapter

Later, Katie opened her heavy eyes, and the first thing she saw was the bright yellow light that protruded from the top of the car; she stared at it for several seconds trying to figure out what was going on. She looked down and noticed the black wool fabric. She began to rub it with her fingers.
“Do you believe me now?”
She looked at Keith and noticed that he was typing some notes on his laptop from a book that sat on the armrest of his car. When she saw his blue eyes concentrated on the screen, she remembered the anger in them as he knocked the cup out of her hand, and it all came back. She closed her eyes and took several small breaths, but her nerves wouldn’t settle.
“How long have I been out?”
“About an hour.” He closed the black laptop.
“Thank you.” She mumbled out.
“You’re welcome.”
She pulled the coat off and handed it to Keith right before she turned to open the door.
“Hold on.” Keith placed a hand on her shoulder. “You’re probably still dizzy.”
She stayed in the car as Keith got out and walked over to the passenger side. The door opened and Keith reached for her hands. He helped her to her feet, and placed an arm firmly around her waist. Her first few steps made her head swirl, but she rested it on Keith’s chest as he walked her to the dorm. Even when she felt herself become more stable, she didn’t remove herself from his arms. It felt so good to lean up against his firm chest. He reached for the keys that she held out to him, opened the door, and they walked to her room. When she got to her room, she asked, “Would you like to come in?”
“Sure.”
She took the keys from his hand and unlocked the door. Once inside, Keith closed the door behind them. Katie turned to look at him, focusing on his blue eyes that had a soft touch to them. Maybe he wasn’t what Angel said he was. He couldn’t be. A smile crossed her face as she took a few steps towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Katie felt warm and safe as Keith held her tightly against his body. She stood on her tiptoes and rested her chin on his shoulder. “Thank you for taking care of a girl who wouldn’t give you the time of day.”
She felt Keith’s hands immerse themselves in her hair, sending strange sensations through her body. “Can I take you to dinner now?”
“Sure.” She smiled. Keith pulled her from him, but kept her still in his arms. She closed her eyes as he kissed her head. She had to take a deep breath as a tremor swept through her form. She looked up at him, and tried to find something to say, but all she could think of was her sister.
“Would you like to see some pictures of my family?”
“Yeah,” he said, but he didn’t let go of her until she moved from him.
They were about to sit on the bed when Keith’s phone rang. He flipped it open and looked at the number. “Hey,” he said and walked out the door, closing it behind him. What was going on? Katie stared at the door for a couple seconds before her curiosity got the best of her. She went to the door and pressed her ear against it.
“Just make sure your contribution gets to my godfather, and I won’t say a thing.”
Many questions filled her mind, but she couldn’t find any answers to them. She knew he was talking about her.
It was quiet for a second. “If she asks, I’ll tell her that. Bye”
She took two quick steps from the door and sat on the bed before Keith opened the door.
He looked at her. “That was Allen’s father. He wanted me to tell you he’s sorry for his son’s actions, and that he wouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”
“Why didn’t he tell me that?”
Keith shrugged. “He knows me, so I guess he just felt more comfortable talking to me.” Keith clasped his hands in front. “So, you want to show me some pictures.” Katie nodded and reached under her bed for her picture album, forgetting about what she heard outside the door as he sat next to her.
For the next hour, she sat on her bed with Keith at her side and his arm around her waist. Katie showed him pictures of her sister and parents, and explained them. She would every now and then look up at him, but she could not look at his face for long, so she would quickly turned back to the pictures and wonder if he noticed how hot her skin felt.

To Love Anew

To Love Anew by Bonnie Leon is quite a renewing experience. There is love but this novel reaches beyond romance and engages the readers into the battles of young woman who has been greatly hurt.

Hannah Talbot was a simple seamstress until the death of her mother forces her to seek work as a maid. Hannah’s beauty draws the attention of her employer, a man whose very presence creeps Hannah out. One night, after a long day, Hannah’s employer sneaks into her room and forces himself upon her. Hannah fights for her honor, with such heroism that shows her inner strength and leaves the reader engaging in the fight with her. After this rape, a serious of events lead Hannah across the Ocean to Australia where further challenges await her.

The novel is a must read. Hannah’s character is well developed and complicated. She maintains her inner strength while struggleing with the desire to rid herself of the life she carries in her womb. The reader cries for her, as she wonders what kind of persons could she be if she wants her own flesh and blood dead.

But there is a chance for renewal for Hannah if she could only learn to reach for it and find the courage to heal from her path. The renewal comes in the form of a man named John Bradshaw who want to love Hannah. But will she accept such a love or will her past leave her forever lost?
Passion wise, the book is lacking, but this book is beyond a simple cheap thrill. The love is quiet but strong, and though there is no passionate kissing, the reader doesn’t miss it as she interacts with Hannah’s struggles.

Theology wise, I didn’t see a problem.

Stay-at-Home Mom Review Parenting Tip of the Week

Have mommy friends.

Being a mother is hard, confusing and just down right complexing. But having mommy friends can help especially when you are a new mother. I suggest joining a local mommy group in your area. Try to find one that has your similar interest.

For example, I like making things from scratch, using cloth diapers and trying not be wasteful. So I join the Natural Mamas (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Natural_Mamas/) of the area where I live.

I love it. We get together for playgroups, share parenting tips and just talk about anything and everything. Joining the group has really helped me be a better parent to the little Peanut God blessed me with. I’m always watching the mothers of my group and how they parent their children. I soak in the info and then apply it to my child. Some things have worked and something haven’t. One thing really great about my group is we seem to really care about helping each other. The other mamas are interested in my hopes and dreams as I am in theirs.

A long time ago, in a near by land, families used to live very close together and young mothers would learn how to parent with their near by mother. Can you imagine how much easier it must have been? It’s hard to replicate that mother, daughter, baby parenting line, but I think my group comes very close.

Here is a list of what I consider to be the benefits of my group.

1. companionship

2. parenting tips

3. friends for your child

4. hand me downs

5. and the most important the knowledge that others have the same thoughts, fears and struggles as you in your similar parenting journeys.

The question, though, how do you find such groups? That is a hard one. I kind of lucked out because a friend from grad school started the one I’m in and then she invited me to join.

Suggestions, look on the internet. Google playgroups in your area and see what you find. Look on cafemom and see if there is a group in your area.

Call a local parenting board, perhaps chamber of congress in your area.

Ask around especially other mamas with children in the same age range as yours.

If there isn’t one in your area, Then Start One. Mommies are anxious for mommy friends because being a stay-at-home mom can be so isolating. It probably wouldn’t take long before mothers are knocking down your door begging for a playgroup.

Priviledge Chapter 2 p A

Chapter II

Keith opened the side door to the sorority without knocking with Brandon following a step behind. He when he saw Becca nibbling on a bagel at the counter.

“Hey Becca. You look nice today.” He scanned her body.

Becca rolled her eyes and looked back at the chemistry book she was studying.

“Go get Angel,” he said.

Becca stood up and crossed her arms. “You could ask.”

Keith smirked at her.

“Whatever,” she said and left. Angle came into the room couple minutes later.

“Hey.” Angel stopped in the middle of the kitchen, planting her hands on her hips.

“Hey pretty thing.” He walked up to her.

His words brought a smile to her face, and she blushed when he placed his hands on her hips and leaned her against the counter; his body pressing lightly against hers. “It was exciting seeing you last night.” He kissed her cheek.

“What do you want?” she said when he moved his lips to her ear.

“What’s that girl’s name? The one you were sitting next.”

“I’m not telling you,” she said through a laugh.

“Tell me, Angel.” His lips trailed to her neck and down her shoulder.

“Why, so you can seduce her?”

“She won’t be able to hold anything over you.”

Angel tried to push him away, but he held his ground.

“Come on, Angel, you’re screwing other people to.”

“But…”

He lowered his forehead to hers and looked straight into her eyes. “Besides you know, you’re the one I’m going to settle down with.”

Angel blushed when he ran his thumb across her cheek and kissed her eyes. He felt her melt against him and knew he had her.

“Her name is Katie, Katie Morris. I’ll go get you her number.” Keith stepped back and watched her leave. He turned to Brandon who had a smirk on his face. “The best thing I ever did was make that girl fall in love with me.”

Brandon laughed. “I wish I could trick girls like that.”

Angel returned a few minutes later, and handed Keith a piece of paper. “I included her dorm number.” He folded it and put it in his dress shirt pocket. “Thank you.” He took her hand. Angel smiled, pulled her hand from his and left.

Keith and Brandon walked out the door and Keith flipped his phone open as they strolled to his car. He ordered three-dozen roses and had them sent to Katie’s dorm room. When the woman at the shop asked if he wanted to include a message he said, “write, sorry for being a drunken fool last night. Keith. And put my number on it.”

***

Katie scrutinized her history book while chewing on her pencil. She heard a knock at the door. She got up and the door. The color red filled her vision, and it took her a few seconds before she realized there was someone behind the mass of roses in front of her face.

“Ma’am, are you Katie Morris?” the delivery person asked.

“Yeah.”

“Here, these are for you,” the woman said as she handed Katie the roses.

“Thank you.” She looked around the roses but the woman had already left.

Katie brought the roses into her room and placed them on her desk. She ran her fingers over the petals until they found their way to a white card. She picked it up, opened it, and read the message from Keith. She crumpled and threw it against the wall. She placed her hands on her hips trying to figure out how he found out her name. Angel would have never given it to him.

She picked them up to throw them in the dumpster, but thought that it would be a shame to trash something so beautiful. She called Angel and they took the flowers to a hospital.

***

Katie felt nervous. She didn’t really want to go, but Angel had insisted it would be fun. After arriving, she looked around and breathed a sigh of relief when she didn’t see Keith amongst the small crowd of people, talking or dancing to the music. Angel took her hand dragged her to a group of girls she wanted her to meet. They talked for several minutes until Katie heard a voice behind her that she didn’t recognize. She took a deep breath, praying it wasn’t Keith.

“Hello.”

Katie turned to the voice behind her and smiled at the young man with deep brown eyes that were animated as he talked.

“Katie,” Angel said. “This is Allen, a friend of mine.”

“Nice to meet you,” Katie held out her hand and gently shook Allen’s. She liked how gently he held her hand. He was not as handsome as Keith; nor as captivating, but he was pleasant to look.

“How are you liking Yale?” He smiled showing her a perfect row of teeth.

Katie blushed as his eyes focused on her. “Oh, I go to Saint Mary, but I…”

“Keith just walked in,” Angel said interrupting her flow of thought. She glanced at the group of girls who looked beyond her with fascination in their eyes.

“I wonder what he’s up to tonight,” one girl said.

“Seeking another victim.” Angel focused her attention on Katie. She had a sneer on her face.

Katie turned to see Keith walk to a cooler filled with beer. Brandon was with him and they each grabbed one. At that moment, Keith lifted his eyes and she knew he saw her. He dropped his gaze and walked away.

“I guess he finally gave up,” said Angel. She had lost the sneer.

“He’s so annoying,” said Katie.

“You know Keith?” Allen said.

She focused her attention on Allen. “Yeah, he tried to hit on me, but I just ignored him.”

“Good, Keith is someone to ignore.”

***

Keith tried not to think of Katie, but his eyes kept drifting to her. She looked so sweet so simple in the black knee length skirt, making her seem so innocent compared to the girls in tights dresses she stood with. The whole week he had waited phone logic, but this girl defied his logic and would pay him not attention. He noticed her and Angel leave the group and walk towards the bathroom. Katie leaned sideways on the wall. He set his beer down on a table, and watched until he knew he had to talk to her. She didn’t notice him as he walked up to her.

“Hey, pretty thing.” He placed a hand on her hip and leaned against the wall.

“Hello, Keith.” She took a step from him making his hand drop. She turned to face him.

“I just wanted to know if you got the flowers I sent you.”

“Yeah, and I donated them to a hospital. I thought you wouldn’t mind.”

Keith’s smile disappeared. “That was good of you.”

He bit down on the side of his lip as she glared at him. What was up with this girl? Perhaps, he couldn’t play by the same rules.

“You know, you would find out I’m a pretty nice guy, if you just got to know me. Won’t you let me take you to dinner?”

Katie took a deep breath. “No.”

For the first time in his life, Keith felt his heart drop. He took a step closer to her and stared down into her eyes. He knew he could make a girl melt with them. “Why don’t you like me?” It was a rather blunt question he knew, but he had to know. Perhaps, she had heard rumors about him. But the rumors never kept girls away before.

She looked to the side as a slight blush covered her cheeks. “I’m just not interested.”

Was he getting to her? “Tell me and I’ll leave you alone.”

The blush deepened. “Look, you’re just not my type. I’m not into rich boys.”

He didn’t believe her. Her eyes looked too uncertain. There was something else. “That some classism, you’ve got going on.”

“It’s how I feel.”

“Well, Katie Morris, I hope you don’t meet some guy who breaks your heart. I’d hate to see such a spirit crushed.” Keith mockingly bowed and then walked away knowing he would kill anyone who hurt her. He would have to find some way to get her in his arms. She belonged with him.

***

Katie leaned her head against the side of the wall again, wishing her cheeks would cool down. She knew she must be blushing. His eyes were too captivating and she realized he was just trying to use them against her. The door opened and Angel walked out.

Angel bent her head to the side. “What’s up with you?”

Katie placed a hand on her cheek, feeling the heat. “Nothing, it’s just hot in here.”

“Yea whatever.”

They walked back to the group. She stopped next to Allen and closed her eyes as she caught a whiff of his cologne.

He bent to her ear and she felt herself tremble as he whispered, “Let’s go get some ice cream.”

“I don’t know you,” she mumbled. She wanted to date him, but she knew she should only date Christian guys. She looked up at Angel, who eyes where fixed on her. She noticed the sneer on her face again. What could Angel be thinking?

***

The next morning Angel sat in the kitchen of the sorority house drinking some coffee when she heard a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

The door opened and Allen walked in.

“Angel,” said Allen as he walked up to her. Angel kept her eyes fixed on her cup of coffee. She lifted them when she saw two hundred dollars placed in front of her face.

“What do you want?”

“Convince Katie Morris, I’m a good guy, so she’ll go out with me.”

Angel laughed at what he said. “Why would I do that?”

“Because, it’ll drive Keith insane.”

Angel quickly turned around so she could stare into his face. “Will you sleep with her and ruin her?”

“Of course, but why such a sudden hate?” His smile became crooked.

“I can’t stand the way Keith fawns over her. Becca told me how they talked at the party. She didn’t even mention it. I bet she’s conniving for him.”

Allen laughed. “Jealous. Well dear, do your part and I will willingly do mine.”

She took the money from his hand and said, “I’ll tell her you’re a good mission boy.”

“Thanks.” Allen patted her on the shoulder and left.

Angel picked up her phone, and called Katie.

When Katie answered, Angel said, “you made an impression on Allen last night.”

“I did?”

“He’s a cool guy. I hope you don’t mind, but I gave him your number.”

“You think he’s a cool guy?”

“I know he is. Allen and I are good friends. You should go out with him when he calls.”

She thought about it before she said, “OK.”

I'm skipping my regular scheduled book review to post this.

Last week Christian recording artist Steven Curtis Chapman lost a daughter (Maria) in a home accident. I’ve never lost a child in such a way, but I can only imagine its must be a profound lost.

But that is not what I want to talk about. At the risk of sounding completely insensitive I’m going to approach a subject, that few even recognize.

Chapman’s daughter was adopted from China. She had another family, but I didn’t run across one story that even mentioned that lost. In other words, there is another mother and possible father, grieving a lost.

Very few Americans recognize this loss because we have never look at the bigger picture when it comes to international adoption. We see happy families and there is nothing wrong with that.

But what we don’t see is the grieving Chinese mother, wondering how her daughter is fairing in this world.

Now, before you say, “The Chinese mother as no right to mourn or be recognized she abandoned her daughter,” please take a second and consider the culture this mother lives in.

In China there is a one child policy and many poor families need a son to take care of them. A lot of time mothers, of no choice of their own, are forced to abandon their newborn girls. Ever wonder why so many of these little girls are found in places where someone is likely to find them quickly. Another thing is a lot of these little girls were never abandoned but where stolen and sold to orphanages. There are people making money off these little girls.

Back to Maria’s Chinese mother. I’ve decided to recognize her and the loss she felt in the hope of educating some of my fellow Americans.

Dear Marie’s original mother,

Last week, you suffered a loss that you may never know about and I’m so sorry for that. I will keep you in my prayers as you navigate gate through life without the child you labored to bring in this world. I know you have lost and suffered a pain, that is deep, and soul crushing and one that I have learned never goes away. But I can’t imagine what this new loss will be like.

Did a rush a pain wash over you as her soul left this earthly home? Did all your mother instincts kick in, making you want to find and protect your little bundle of pure beauty until you realized you wouldn’t be able to find her?

I bet you dream of her. Wondering, what she is up to. Does she have your mother’s eyes or your husband’s smile? I bet you hope she is getting a good education in America and that she will fall in love with a boy of her own choosing. I bet you pray that she never has to lose a little soul she has nourished with her own body that way you lost her.

Do you ever hear about the stories of children from Vietnam and China coming back to their native countries to try and find their original families? Does your heart spark with hope? Hoping that someday your child will come to find you. But she won’t. She is no more. I think the saddest thing is, if you do by some miracle find a way to search for her, you won’t find a smiling face with wide opened arms, you will find a grave and the pain you felt that day your baby was no longer in your arms will rush all over you again.

I’m sorry Maria’s original mother. I pray that God gives you peace, and the ability to make it through this world that doesn’t support the bond of a mother and child.

Readers as you pray for Chapman’s family loss, please also pray for the family in china. Or if you don't believe in pray as some of my friends do then please keep both families in mind.

Take care

Prviledge Chapter 1 Part B

That night Angel picked Katie up and took her to the party was. When Katie walked into the room, the first thing she noticed was the dimness of the lights, which cast only a gold shine and was smothered in smoke. The light kept the place just above dark. She looked around the room and saw people in small circles talking and listening to the music. Angel introduced her to many, and as she did she told Katie who their fathers were and sometimes but only on a rare occasion a mother. Most of the people at the party were somebody’s important child. The long list of senators’ and CEO’s children amazed her. Most of the them students at Yale.

They made their way to a couch, and Angel continued to point people out, and tell her why they were important.

A new song started playing over the mp3 player. Some of the young men formed a circle and started singing the words. Two of them shouted out, “Keith!” She saw a young man with dark brown hair that fell just over his forehead and was parted to the side. He held up a beer as he walked up to the crowd, shouting out a line from the song. For some reason, Katie watched the ends of his untucked blue dress shirt flop with his movements. He was attractive she thought.

“Who’s that?” she asked Angel.

Angel looked at the crowd. “That’s Keith Wilkerson, future senator of New York,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Katie chuckled.

“His father is the most powerful lawyer in New York, probably the country. But he’s a dog. I recommend staying away from him.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, he and his friend Brandon.” Angel pointed to another boy in the group with cropped short brown hair. “Once got a whole pledge class drunk and talked them into stripping in front of the house.”

Katie raised her eyebrows. “He’s going to have some youthful indiscretions to explain away.”

Katie looked at the young man, watching his full lips move to the words. She blinked when he looked at her and smiled. Her heart jumped a little when he walked over to them, taking sips from his beer. He was so handsome and well built with big board shoulders. However, Katie remembered her mother’s words: a pretty face doesn’t always mean a pretty soul. He stopped in front of them and held out his hand as he gave Angel the most captivating smile Katie had ever seen. “Come Angel.”

Angel’s eyes immediately lit up and her face brightened. She placed her hand in his and let him lead her back to the dance floor. Keith placed one hand on her hip, and stood as close to her as he could, holding the beer behind her shoulder and moving her hips in time with his as he continued to shout out the words.

Katie was confused. Angel looked up at Keith as if he was her groom. She shook her head. Apparently, Angel didn’t think she needed to stay away from him. She wanted to leave.

When the song ended, Keith turned back to the guys. Angel walked up to his side and placed her hand on his back, but he didn’t even acknowledge her as he talked to the group of men. He even stepped from her so her hand would drop. Katie wondered what kind of game he was playing.

A couple minutes later, he looked at her again and gave her a sensuous smile. She felt her stomach fall and her pulse quicken as he made a bee-line towards her. “Please, Lord give me strength,” she mumbled as Angel fled the room, wiping her cheeks. He had hurt her bad in the past, Katie realized. Suddenly she felt determined to ignore him.

She began to stand up, but she sat firmly down when she heard someone plop down beside her. She took a deep breath and turned to face Keith. He put his arm on the top of the couch, touching her shoulders. She watched as he took a sip of his beer; small beads of sweat dripped from his forehead, and collected on his brow.

“I’m Keith.” He held out his hand, still holding the beer, but with his three fingers stretched out.

She stared at him.

His lips curved up into a smirk. “What’s your name, babe?”

“I was having a better time alone.”

Keith laughed while looking up at the ceiling.

“What does your father do?” He gently touched a strand of her hair with his free hand and curled it around his finger.

Katie’s cheeks grew hot at the attention, and felt herself wanting to just sit there and bask in his mesmerizing dark blue eyes. She had never been so close to one as handsome as him. She studied his lips and wondered what it would be like to have them press firmly into hers.

“My father is a teacher, and my mother is a nurse,” she mumbled out. He’ll sleep with you and leave you, she reminded herself.

“So you got here on intelligence?”

“Yeah.”

She flinched a little when she felt Keith placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her towards him, leaning into to her. She fought the feeling of smallness and the dire need to let those arms embrace her. He was so close to her that she could smell the beer on his breath.

He quickly raised and lowered his eyebrows. “Can I show you mine?”

Katie immediately felt repulsed. “Your breath stinks.”

He reached his hand with the beer to her cheek and gently stroked it; she felt the cold bottle touch her burning skin. He leaned in more to her face, and she tried to scoot back a little as he said, “get closer and you won’t smell a thing.”

Her eyes opened wide as he leaned in to kiss her, but she smacked him on the cheek and pushed herself from his arms. She walked straight out the front door and looked for Angel, but she was nowhere around. She almost made it to the street when he caught up to her.

“Hey, where you going?” he said taking her arm.

She tugged her arm from him. “My dorm.”

“You’re going to walk?”

“Yeah.”

“Pretty things like you shouldn’t walk alone at night.”

“I don’t care.” She crossed the street with him by her side.

She stopped and faced him when she got to the other side. “Keith, if you think I’m going to sleep with you; give up.”

Keith bent his head to the side and dug his hands deep into his pocket. “I just want to walk you home.”

She shook her head as she took off towards her dorm room with him following her every step. He tried to talk to her, but she didn’t respond to anything he said. It was a gray, warm night. She kept her eyes fixed on the ground and her arms wrapped tightly around her chest. She couldn’t figure out why he didn’t take the hint and leave her alone. Was he desperate or something?

When she got to her dorm, she unlocked the front door. “Bye Keith.”

“No thanks?”

She walked through the door.

***

Through the window, Keith watched her walk up the stairs. She wasn’t worth it, he thought. He walked back with his hands dug into his pockets. Her eyes seemed so beautiful and innocent when he sat next to her. He could still smell her perfume. What a scent - fresh oranges that evoked images of the sun. Perhaps, I will try one more time, he thought. He didn’t go back to the party, but got in his car and went home - not even caring he left Brandon at the party.

When he got to his apartment, he went to his bathroom, grabbed a black bag and sat on his bed. He grabbed a needle and a small bottle out of the bag, and raised it to his eyes as he filled the needle halfway. He tied a rubber rope around his arms, and closed his eyes as he inserted the needle into a vein of his arm. When he felt himself calm down a bit, he lay down on the bed. “Sleep,” he told himself. His thoughts trailed to Katie. Why did he care that she blew him off?

***

Katie went straight to her room, and sat on her bed. She picked up her cell phone and dialed Angel’s number.

“Hello,” Angel said.

“I left the party,” Katie said, “That jerk came up to me and started hitting on me, so I left to get away from him.”

She heard Angel laugh even though she could hear a trace of sadness in her voice.

“Did he hurt you once?” Katie asked.

“No, why do you say that?”

Katie looked up at the ceiling as she lay down on her bed. She didn’t believe Angel. Whatever he did to her, was bad. “You just seemed hurt when he walked away from you.”

“I don’t care about Keith, but it’s wise to stay away from him. He has a habit of sleeping with girls and acting like he doesn’t know them the next day.”

“Why do girls keep sleeping with him?”

“Because he’s handsome, rich, and he has this way of always convincing girls, that they are the most precious woman in the world.”

“That’s funny. All I got was my breath doesn’t stink if you get close.’ I guess he didn’t think I was much of a challenge.”

Angel laughed. “I wouldn’t worry about Keith. He never works hard to get a girl in bed.”

“Good, I was a little anxious because he insisted on walking me home even though I ignored him.”

“He did!” Angel said as her voice rose.

“Yeah.” Angel’s words startled her. Obviously, Keith didn’t walk girls home, but why did he walk her home?

“Huh, I wonder why he did that.” Angel paused for a moment. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow, Katie.”

“Sure.”

Katie hung up the phone, kicked her shoes off and dismissed Keith from her mind. She grabbed a picture of her next-door neighbor, a boy she’d had a crush on her whole life. She placed it against her chest and thought of him. Jeff wasn’t as handsome as Keith, but she knew his heart was pure.